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My 40 seconds as a thief

Today I arrived at the office in the cover of darkness, not that I wanted to arouse any suspicion, but been a user of Thika road, I have to choose arriving at work either under the cover of darkness or in broad day light. Arriving at work is not the only thing that i have done under the cover of darkness today. Waking up was the first thing I did under the cover of darkness, immediately after which I was hit by a very strong stench, only to discover that its source was yours truly's armpits. In short I now also had to shower under the cover of darkness.

I then went to get water from an outside tap, that is shared by my whole block of flats. This was also done under the cover of darkness. It is at this moment that I realized that I had made a critical mistake; one of entrusting the critical job of providing water for my essential use on this morning to an unreliable firm, aka the Nairobi Water & Sewerage Company. They had lived to their expectation, and had only provided a trickle of water to fill half a jerrycan for the first person in line.

Been the 11th or so in line, things were now heading for the worst. It was the so called desperate times, that call for desperate measures. As more sweat continued to trickle down my now famous armpits, I began calculating a scheme to ensure that I could at least get some water. I looked around and noticed that I was the only soul outside. I then assumed that the watchman was asleep, and that my neighbours were also asleep.

I then decided that been a good neighbour, I should share my neighbours water, since good neighbours are always willing to share. I quickly lifted the jerrycan, and began emptying the water into my jerrycan. I poured the water noisily till we each had an equal share. Just when I was thinking that I had made it through safely , I was interrupted by a sound asking me "We, unafanya nini?" . I froze for a few seconds, and more sweat trickled down my arm pits. It is at this point that I noticed a KPLC powered bulb had quietly gone on in one of the first floor windows during my 40 seconds of crime. It was also at this point that I saw the light in the famed KPLC 'mulika mwizi' advert.

"Mbona unafanya hivyo?" my neighbour continued, "Na vile nimengoja hiyo maji?". I explained to her that "Nilikuwa nagawa maji tu." She then told me to return her jerrycan under the tap. I shamefully asked her if I could return the evidence of the crime to its original place(what else could I do), but been an understanding and loving neighbour, she told me I could keep the evidence. She proceeded to watch me as I returned to my residence, a residence which now housed a thief.

I had by now set a presidence , that I was not one to be trusted in this neighbourhood. I imagine how the rest of the neighbours will be glad to know who has been stealing there water, since this is not the first case. I am also imagining how the watchman will be instructed to keep a watchful eye on yours truly, and how the neighbors will instruct their families to be alert when yours truly is around. The house helps will especially receive firm instructions not to let me linger around their homes, and not to talk with me, an act that is bound to trigger thorough questioning if committed. By now, I also imagine that I have made it to the top of the "usual suspects" of small items that go missing in the neighborhood.

I have also learned that you should never leave any detail to the last minute, and that trusting an unreliable person(firm) is an equivalent of putting your arms in fire. I refused to source for water last evening, awaiting the Nairobi Water & sewerage company to supply it over the night, to no avail.I have also leaned that as a thief, it is a fatal mistake to make any assumptions in this career. I also learned that as a thief, sound is one of your top enemies.

It is so tragic that I did not complete my first 40 seconds of my 1st out of 40 days of been a thief, tragic, tragic!

Comments

kenyahouses said…
Relax..atleast you are now famous

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