The Unofficial Mascots of Kenya

Of late, Child molestation & other stories related to pedophilia have been having a large share of Kenyan news. Its quite strange that all this stories seem to have cropped up at almost the same time, as if someone was coordinating the action behind the scenes. Above all, the child sexual molestation & homosexual allegations against Father Kizito , a Kenyan Catholic priest of Italian Origin , seem to be leading the pack and gaining the lions share of such stories.

It has gone to such an extent, that whenever the media is talking about anything paedophilic, Father Kizito's photo is shown, even when the story is unrelated to him or does not mention him.

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So to say, the guy is now the unofficial mascot of paedophilics in Kenya.

Still on the news & mascots, Kenyans seem to have an in-built gene that makes them have a high affiliation to overturned petrol tankers. This is apparently in the name of making a living out of the spilt petrol by selling it. Since we all know that petrol is flammable, we can guess what has been the outcome of previous petrol fetching excursions as seen here & here.

Given our athletic prowess, and the speed at which we arrive at spots where tankers overturn, we should adopt a mascot for the country. The mascot should show an overturned fuel tanker on fire, and people around it on fire too. It should also show more people running towards the scene. Below are slight imitations of something similar.

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The Government should abandon efforts of keeping its suicidal citizens from such scenes. Instead, we should have a Rapid Response Police force, complete with a helicopter,which flies to such scenes. The aim of such a force will be to condone off the area for general safety of the public. It should then allow citizens who would like to fetch the fuel to get into the scene with their buckets. This RRPI(Rapid Response Petroleum Incidences) Police unit should also carry body bags to the scene. They should ensure that every one else other than those interested in fetching the fuel should keep a safe distance.

The above should then be marketed as a tourist attraction, and any one willing to watch the ensuing spectacle should be charged a standard fee. You never know, this may even rival the famed Survivor series, and we may even be approached to include this sport in the Survivor Series.

The petrol fetchers should then be awarded marks based on how much petrol they are able to fetch in the shortest time. Talk of innovation.

This week, make sure you keep close to a petrol tanker to beat the cold.

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Dennis Kioko

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