Skip to main content

The Kenyan revolution that never was

It's 8 minutes past midnight. It has taken quite a while to come to the decision whether to blog or catch up on sleep. Catching some sleep means postponing the blog post to another time, but doing the post now means loosing some sleep and a sleepy day tomorrow. A sleepy day tomorrow is okay, cause I will spend the better part of the day travelling to Diani for the Connected Kenya conference where I will be providing news coverage. I can catch up some sleep on my car ride to the Coast, in between reading Chimamanda Adichie's Purple Hibiscus (finally, thanks to a bargain buy from Kwani? Trust).

Tomorrow is also the day that the Consumer Federation of Kenya (Cofek) has called for Kenyans to walk to work to protest against the rising cost of living, including the cost of oil. The Ministry of Energy pretends to regulate oil prices by setting a maximum price ceiling. This began about 3 months ago after consumers lamented about the ever rising and high price of oil and related products which in turn drove inflation. Ironically, last week saw the highest ever rise of fuel prices which saw petrol rise by Ksh 8 (about $ 0.1) overnight while kerosene missed he ksh 100 mark by a few shillings.

Back to the planned walk to work, which is an imitation of a similar protest driven by the opposition in Uganda that has seen President Museveni over- reacting - deploying the military on unarmed protesters , declaring it illegal to walk to work (we can't make this up). Don't ask what we were doing in Kenya as the Ugandans sought to address their inflation. In Kenya, we have no opposition, any politician worth his name is either on the ODM led or PNU led arm of the government.

Both the ODM and PNU arms of the government are busy setting the stage campaigning for 2012 elections. They have sought to use the ICC indictment of suspected masterminds of Kenyan 2008 post election violence suspects as a proxy war for this campaign, with  some politicians seeking to eliminate those opponents named as suspects while the suspects have sought to use the charges as a "mercy eliciting" tool by portraying themselves as unsuspecting victims set up by their opponents.

The Media? The Media has been busy covering the hatred spewing out of our politicians mouths to the point that my colleagues now pen their stories from deep within the rear orifices of our politicians. Every headline contains "Hague" and once in a while, we get a break where the headline story is a cock and bull tale of Hague suspects lugging around $10 Million cash in paper bags, despite the fact that this weighs in at 100 kg.

The rate at which we are no longer addressing any issues worth a pinch of salt has reached a point where the middle class are uncomfortably fidgeting in their "Made in China" leather office seats.

The middle class is alarmed that no one is addressing rising inflation and unemployment, and that the "bottom of the pyramid (This is a term that has been instilled upon me by the telco operators who I cover in my line of work. It is a great term that elsewhere would have been either 'those living below $2 a day [$1 ? please!]' or better yet ' the poor masses'"), yes, the bottom of the pyramid may be stoked back to the point where we are slashing each others throats with machetes.

The middle class, inspired by the Egyptians and Tunisians have decided to take action into their hands. They are now determined to force the media to cover real issues happening outside the rear ends of politicians, determined to catch inflation and make the country a better place to live in.

However, the middle class loves cake a lot. The extent to which the middle class love their cake is evidenced by the rising number of Bakers Inn, Vasilies and smaller cake shops around Nairobi. They love their cakes so much that they want to keep their cake and eat it at the same time.

The middle class does not want to be inconvenienced by peaceful demonstrations that cause traffic jams that slow them in their quest to get to their Internet equipped offices or WiFi ready cake shops. Furthermore, the middle class does not want to risk a brush with the Police who may arrest them and thus cause them to miss what their politicians said on the evening news. They do not want to miss the luxury of wiping their asses with imported Egyptian Tissue paper and instead use the front page of the 4 newspapers they bought on their way to work.

Worse of all, the middle class dreads those unemployable university students who stone their imported cars when rioting against worthless every day occurrences, like the disappearance of a person or death of another.

There are better ways of addressing this issues, signing online petitions. This can be done for the comfort of our air conditioned, Internet served , leather seat equipped offices as we eat a pastries alongside imported coffee.

No need to waste lost of time demonstrating in the streets like Egyptians, or beg for tiny contributions to construct a foot bridge near General Motors on Mombasa road. Raising this issues on Twitter and signing in with Facebook to 'sign the petition' better addresses them.


As I mentioned earlier, I a travelling long distance tomorrow, perfect excuse to avoid the 'walk to work' demo. Would I have walked? no, why? I have a range of excuses including how work is far, I would get late to work amongst others that mask my avoidance of any slight risk and discomfort in the quest to address such issues. I will not be alone in this though, the majority is complacent.

Sign a petition today telling the Kenyan intelligence services not to be alarmed by online activists, they are no match to Okiya Oumuata who chains himself to your headquarters in protest. Chains to them are for BDSM.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

RE: Appointment as Ambassador of the Republic of Kenya to The United States of America

Image: South African marriage courtesy The Telegraph ( http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/africaandindianocean/southafrica/6237922/South-African-man-marries-4-women-at-same-ceremony.html  ) Dennis Kioko, Address Pending. President to-be-elect, Republic of Kenya, Address Pending, Again. Dear Sirs/Madams, RE: Appointment as Ambassador of the Republic of Kenya to The United States of America  I would like to draw your attention to news reported across various sections of the press (way behind your daily portraits on the front page) that several Missions to the country are equivalently vacant with the duty of appointed high commissioners having expired. This includes Kenya's High Commission to the United States of America. Among your first duties, having assumed duty as Kenya's president, duly elected or otherwise, will be to appoint commissioners to these missions. It is in this regard that I highly invoke you to consider me as a likely appointment to the

A to Z of Girl Pick-up Lines

Girl,  You are like a breath of fresh air , like an outstanding piece of Art in an art gallery  There are many things you and me can be, but it puts a smile of satisfaction on my face and a smile of envy on my buddies faces that you both beautiful and bootyfull  E ither your creator must have taken the greatest care creating you or your cheated your way around heaven, 'coz you clearly the prettiest girl on earth  D on't ask why my breathing quickens every time I see you; setting my eyes on you makes me feel like I am drowning in your beauty, I have to catch my breath   Exciting, Exotic, Elegant, Electrifying ; so many definitions in english , but when it comes to the human race, girl, you are the one and only definition of all the above  W hen I say you are fly , it may be due to the sensation of flying off the ground that I get when I am around you. Some girls are beautiful, a few are decent, even fewer got class; I didn't know I could find all this qualities in one gir

Beers in Kenya: A sober opinion

Note: This is a dated post and has since been mostly passed by events. SAB Miller beers including Castle and Peroni are no longer widely available in Kenya after their exist. Sirville Brewery was bought out by Brew Bistro before being permanently shut in a tax dispute. Kenya is a land of milk, honey, beaches and taxes. I have penned, or is typed, a newer post here .  Peroni - One of the best beers in Kenya. Did a taste of canned and bottled Italian, and bottled Tanzanian I like the tangy flavour and body in Tanzanian Peroni. The can is close. Heineken drinkers will like the Italian one.  I have had a short beer swigging stint in my life. It has however been long enough for me to share my opinion of Kenyan beer. Interestingly, over the course of sharing such opinions with other drunkards connoisseurs,  I have found that we all have different views as to what beer is the best, which one makes you too drunk, or which one gives one free, extra hangover for every hangover you get

Lusaka and Livingstone Zambia to Namibia By Road

Zambia is a pretty large country,  an exciting one and with no shortage of potholes.  For instance, take the direct route from Lusaka - Livingstone to Namibia through the Sesheke - Katima Mulilo border crossing. Typically, roads are either good or tend to have potholes here and there. However, the last 120 kilometres of the Livingstone to Sesheke/Katima Mulilo route are best described as potholes dotted by some road here and there for the just thirty kilometres past Kazungula town, which is also the Zambia - Botswana border crossing.  Trying to drive to Sesheke is so bad it will take you anywhere between 4 hours to 6 hours to navigate those 100 kilometres. You may or may not have your dignity at the end and your vehicle may be in more than one piece.  If you really must use the Sesheke - Katima Mulilo crossing as of December 2022, then take the 900 kilometre longer detour from Lusaka to Mongu then back to Katima Mulilo. It doesn't guarantee you absence of potholes, but at least the

Best and Most Durable Highway SUV Tyres

Buying tyres is a dilemma - how do you get the best tyres without spending much more than is necessary?  If that's your dillema, well, you have come to the right place. We will look at tyres that are at the sweetspot of durability, performance and affordability especially for SUVs.  You'll find that most of my top picks are Asian brands. These tend to last longer and are more affordable. European brands are engineered more for comfort and ride quality. So if comfort is your top concern when buying tyres, I would recommend Pirelli and Michelin.  1. Otani   Otani is a little known tyre brand made in Dubai. It however rates quite highly for durability and hardiness, with most of its tyres coming in 'Extra Load' specification. Extra Load tyres are designed if you carry a lot of weight or if you do a lot of towing. Even if you don't, it means you end up with more hardy tyres than your manufacturer recommends. Propelling Otani to the top of my ranking is th