THE INTRODUCTORY IDIOTS GUIDE TO RECOGNISING A FRESHER

1. Once a fresher looses any of their property, they put up posters requesting any good Samaritan who came across(or along it depending on which way you were walking),to hand it to them. The are yet to realize that once you loose anything on campus, no one, and I mean no one, ever sees it.
2. You are sited comfortably browsing in the library, and someone comes and tells you that they have borrowed the book they are carrying and they want you to record it. Damn, that is definitely a fresher.
3. Again you are surfing in the library at around midday, then you neighbor, who is pressed since he has been surfing since 8.00 am, decides to go to the loo (Which are always been cleaned or out of water ).Someone then comes along and posts themselves in your neighbors seat and start using their computer. After explaining to them the computer is private and not library property, the person agrees to leave, but insists that they want to press the “exit” button first to exit from what they were doing. You will not get any marks for identifying this as a fresher.
4. You are in Baghdad, the favorite self service mabati kiosk in KM, and someone comes sits down and proceeds to whitsle, in an attempt to call the man in charge of collecting dishes. When he happily comes along, the someone gives their order of “ugali ya mtama na supu ya ngamia” to be served on their table. Another fresher.
5. Anyone coming from KM carrying a new “Solex” padlock (made in USA china) is definitely a fresher. They are yet to realize that they do not the keys that come with the padlock, since the top from a normal Bic biro will act as a hustl-free-key.
6. Anyone posing in the library to stare at the large blue plastic sign that says what should be on the firsts floor, is (Well, I don’t have to type it, do i?)

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Dennis Kioko

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