Skip to main content

Life in the Public Campus: 30 minutes before class

Apart from been a blogger who rants and complains about everything, like people haven't got problems of their own, I also happen to be a student. I happen to be the not-your-average student in a Public Kenyan university. I have decided that I would be doing several of my readers a favor by occasionally blogging about aspects of campus life.

I am going to narrate a story based on a few lies and several true stories. Its up to the reader to figure out which is which. The story was penned( in a bad handwriting characteristic of a bunch of campus students) slightly more than an year ago, in a boring campus lecture. I bumped into the story in a recent boring lecture(most are even more boring than high school classes) in an exercise book which I had recycled from a previous semester. Been an environmentalist, I discovered that I had various empty exercise books left over from previous units. If you are wondering why they are empty yet I had completed the semester, I researched, and preliminary results indicated that one out of several things may have occurred, namely:-

  • The Lecturer rarely attended class
  • The student rarely attended lectures
  • The lecturer heavily relied on use of handouts hence rendering note-taking redundant
  • The student was too lazy to jot down notes
  • A combination of 2 or more of the above factors
Before you forget , we were talking of a story, which had been written in the back of a recycled exercise book and which I present to you below, in it's original form.

***
Class was supposed to start at 11, I arrived at 11.10 am. See, it's not my fault that i arrived late for class. At 10.59, I was still asleep, waking up at 11.00 a.m. At 11.01, I was my trousers and shirts simultaneously , between 11.02 and 11.04  looking for my shoes. I found one shoe at 11.03 and the other at 4 minutes pass 11. I then searched for my exercise book at 5 minutes past 11.  6 minutes past 11 found me in the washroom and my walk to class began at 11.07, eventually arriving in class at 10 minutes past 11.

As I walked into class late, I accidentally stepped on a chic as I tried to find a seat in the crowded room. Coincidentally  I happened to seat next to her.

At 11.12, I came to a conclusion that either I musty be in the wrong class, or the lecturer was plain boring. So I did the next best thing, and struck a conversation with the girl who I was now seated next to.  The topic was my lateness to the now boring lecture.

I told her how I had been dreaming at 10.48, still sleeping at 10.49 .....

She was  kind enough to advise me on how to make it to class early, and gave herself as an example. to make it in time for the 11 o' clock class, she underwent the following preparations:-

10.25 Starts calling a guy, then decides to hang up
10.26 SMS the guy above
10.28 Empties her bucket
10.30 Apply foundation for washing face
10.31 - 10.38 Goes to washroom to wash her face
10.38 - 10.42 Apply makeup
a0.43 - 10.45 Look for handbag no. 2
10.46 Empty handbag 1
10.47 Put belongings in  handbag 2
10.48 Look for phone
10.49 Start going to class
10.50 Return to room for umbrella
10.51 Finally go to class

Comments

Unknown said…
Kioko!

Man that's really creative. Whether fictional or not iko poa. Have you ever considered a full time career as a creative blogger?
The Scape 🐈 said…
thank you, full time blogger? who pays my bills?

Popular posts from this blog

Beers in Kenya: A sober opinion

I have had a short beer swigging stint in my life. It has however been long enough for me to share my opinions of Kenyan beer. Interestingly, over the course of sharing such opinions with other drunkards connoisseurs,  I have found that we all have different views as to what beer is the best, which one makes you too drunk, or which one gives a free,  extra hangover for every hangover you get from it.

For starters, like everyone else, I discovered that beer isn’t as sweet as it looks like in those adverts that show golden barley swaying in breezes,  happy men smiling and toasting chilled, foaming glasses of beer as a deep voice does some narration in the background.

Beer is bitter! Now, it turns out beer is intentionally made bitter. See,  beer shares the same ingredients as bread. The major difference is that bread isn't fermented. Bread is sweet, so why isn't beer sweet?

Kenyan products: The art of punishing your consumer

Peanut butter used to taste so good, but you could not afford it on the pocket money that you got back in school. A few years later, you have your first real job and your first "disposable" income. You buy your first real tub of peanut butter , probably the first in your life. You feel proud that Dominion peanut butter is manufactured in Ruiru, a town that you visited in your campus days to withdraw your pocket money , it was the nearest bank ATM to your campus. This was before Equity bank became a mainstream bank and decided to open an ATM in your campus, and before M-Pesa meant that you could withdraw your pocket money next to the kibanda  where you had your one meal of the day.

The peanut butter though is a far cry form the peanut butter you remember. It does not taste that good, and turns into some sort of stone barely before you are a third way through the jar. The stone is not a kind that you learned about in your Geography classes though.

Dejectedly, you decide not …

EuroTrip: Party in Mallorca

This post is the last in these series of my first EuroTrip. You can click here to read my previous post on my real experience in Madridhttps://blog.denniskioko.com/2020/01/eurotrip-madrid-in-2-days-it-has-its.html

I was headed to the airport, en route to my final destination - Mallorca pronounced as Majorca (with a Y in place of the J). The island of Mallorca had ended up in my itinerary by accident. When exploring cheap flights between Madrid and Munich - my starting point, it appeared that all flights went through Mallorca. It, therefore, made sense to have a stopover at the island.

Again, the Madrid airport is packed during summer and it would be a good idea not to have any check-in luggage for a European stop unless you love queueing in long and winding queues. The Air Norwegian flight between Madrid and Mallorca was hassle free and comes highly recommended.

The bitter story of the downfall of Mumias Sugar company

Have you heard the bitter story of Mumias Sugar?

Regarded by many as Kenya's most successful sugar miller, Mumias Sugar Company was a disaster waiting to happen.

Many pointed out how Mumias Sugar Company was a fortress in the wreck that is Kenya's sugar industry, only unaware that it was just a matter of time. As the old wise men said, "Ukiona cha mwenzako cha nyolewa, tia chako maji".

The proverb means that if you see your neighbour's head getting shaved, your head will soon be undergoing the same - you'd therefore better wet your head for a smoother shave, otherwise you will be forced to undergo a painful, dry, shave.

But what ails Kenya's sugar industry?

The Kenya sugar industry is under legal siege. The typical Kenyan issue of coming up with laws to tackle a problem is evident here.

Many of Kenya's sugar factories are owned by the government, and have slowly declined under mismanagement and corruption. The appointing of political cronies and trib…

Orange River Cellars Wines - Kenya's New Sweet and Dry Wines

There's a new panty remover wine brand in town.


It's from down in South Africa. In some of our geography classes, they taught of the Orange River down in South Africa. If you remember of such a lesson, it might have touched on the VanDerKloof dam on the river, or it's source from the Drakensberg mountains. I'm not sure though, whether they mentioned of the agriculture of the region, which apparently might contribute to your weekend activities.

There have been a host of South African wines, ranging from the boxed Namaquas (Namaqua is a place in South Africa, now you know) to the Mara's (yeah, it's a South African wine) to African's Five Chenin Blanc, which is among my favourite in Kenya.

Making its way into the market is the Orange River Cellars brand of wines. The group has a range of wines including boxed reds, boxed whites and probably the only boxed rose (pronounced rosay for wines) wine I have seen in this market.

Executives from the firm tell me that th…