Skip to main content

The BATHTUB

When I first moved in to my campus hostels a few years ago, as a more cleverer individual than I am now(my grades drop every year), I was very impressed. It’s not the girls who impressed me, or the large multiple of roommates I had (and the fact that some of them talked about everything in terms of cash, like soda bottles), or the fact that I had been allocated a room near the administration block.
I remember the day well; it was that day of registration. I had spent the whole day squeezed between two huge guys in the queue. It’s not a good day, when some parts of a dudes anatomy are hovering about some parts of your anatomy in the queue. Furthermore, since I was traveling from upcountry(my editor suggested that I use that word, even if I had been traveling uphill for most of the journey) I had bought a lot of drinks , which I had imbibed. I was pressed by the time I was been allocated a room, and first place I headed to was the washrooms.
That was when it struck my eyes, for a moment I was dazzled. I even forgot I was pressed, and stood looking at it. All the good times we would have together flashed in front of my mind.
I could not think of anything else that day. Even sleeping was a problem. I was looking forward to the next day, when I would finally get the chance I was looking forward to, a chance of my life.
Then I woke up, in the middle of the night, or so I think, and went for another pee. As I passed by the desire of my dreams, I found a drunk dude , vomiting all over the object of my dreams. My heart felt like it had been stabbed in a thousand places. I did not even go back to sleep, I just couldn’t.
In the morning, it was even worse, I found another dude washing his muddy shoes(I think I saw even much more than mud, and there was that faint, but distinguishable stench from them) in there. Just as he left, a stupid idiot passed by , and deposited the remains of his last meal there.
I had to go use the showers, to wash away my dreams. How could I use the BATHTUB, seeing how it much it was a rubbish dump to others. Since then, the BATHTUB has seen a lot more than just this, and I understand that in Kenya, maybe that is what they are made for.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Beers in Kenya: A sober opinion

Note: This is a dated post and has since been mostly passed by events. SAB Miller beers including Castle and Peroni are no longer widely available in Kenya after their exist. Sirville Brewery was bought out by Brew Bistro before being permanently shut in a tax dispute. Kenya is a land of milk, honey, beaches and taxes. I have penned, or is typed, a newer post here .  Peroni - One of the best beers in Kenya. Did a taste of canned and bottled Italian, and bottled Tanzanian I like the tangy flavour and body in Tanzanian Peroni. The can is close. Heineken drinkers will like the Italian one.  I have had a short beer swigging stint in my life. It has however been long enough for me to share my opinion of Kenyan beer. Interestingly, over the course of sharing such opinions with other drunkards connoisseurs,  I have found that we all have different views as to what beer is the best, which one makes you too drunk, or which one gives one free, extra hangover for every ha...

The Nairobi City By-Laws that Never Were

Well, you have all heard about the proposed Nairobi city by Laws, currently awaiting approval by the Local Government minister. The proposed laws seemed to be quite comprehensive, and ranged from simple laws governing traffic-lights-conduct to the outrageous ones which seek to limit the behavior of city dogs. We here at gramware have been having a feeling that some of the laws on dogs were referring to a word used to co-notate the gender of a female dog; and commonly used to refer to human beings with outrageous behaviours. Still, we think that there are some laws that city hall missed, and we decided to list some of them here. Most of them might be outrageous, and probably a reason why they didn't make the cut. Here they are: It shall be illegal for a city Resident to stop on a street to stare at a video screen for a period of time longer than 15 seconds. any resident contravening this shall be charged with obstruction. Pedestrians within the city shall attempt to walk in almost ...

Lusaka and Livingstone Zambia to Namibia By Road

Zambia is a pretty large country,  an exciting one and with no shortage of potholes.  For instance, take the direct route from Lusaka - Livingstone to Namibia through the Sesheke - Katima Mulilo border crossing. Typically, roads are either good or tend to have potholes here and there. However, the last 120 kilometres of the Livingstone to Sesheke/Katima Mulilo route are best described as potholes dotted by some road here and there for the just thirty kilometres past Kazungula town, which is also the Zambia - Botswana border crossing.  Trying to drive to Sesheke is so bad it will take you anywhere between 4 hours to 6 hours to navigate those 100 kilometres. You may or may not have your dignity at the end and your vehicle may be in more than one piece.  If you really must use the Sesheke - Katima Mulilo crossing as of December 2022, then take the 900 kilometre longer detour from Lusaka to Mongu then back to Katima Mulilo. It doesn't guarantee you absence of potholes, b...

Beers of Kenya. The Ultimate 2019 Guide

Four years ago, precisely in 2015, I wrote about beer in Kenya in what has gone on to be my most popular post this year with more than 5,000 people reading it. It seems that there is a lot of interest in exploring beer in Kenya, which is understandable. The brewing sector has grown since then and we now have lots of options, which means it is time for another review. Back in 2015, Kenya had one major brewer - EABL/KBL, challenged by Keroche and Sierra which is more of a small volume craft brewer, and arguably Kenya’s first craft brewery. It had also been joined by Brew Bistro which mostly sells its malted stuff at its outlets in Nairobi and later by Sirville, a bar located at Galleria Mall. Sirville was later sold to Brew Bistro and converted to the latter for a while, before shutting down in what is alleged to be a tax dispute.

Kenyan products: The art of punishing your consumer

This post was written in 2011. Facts may have and indeed have changed - but the conclusion has not.  Dormans instant coffee tastes better than Sasini instant coffee. Ramtons electronics are manufactured for Kenya's Hypermart Limited, yet maintain a high product quality Peanut butter used to taste so good, but you could not afford it on the pocket money that you got back in school. A few years later, you have your first real job and your first "disposable" income. You buy your first real tub of peanut butter, probably the first in your life. You feel proud that Dominion peanut butter is manufactured in Ruiru, a town that you visited in your campus days to withdraw your pocket money, it was the nearest bank ATM to your campus.  This was before Equity bank became a mainstream bank and decided to open an ATM in your campus, and before M-Pesa meant that you ...