Skip to main content

The Matatu, Nairobi's most notorious crime scene


A matatu along Nairobi's Uhuru Highway at dawn.
While matatu's tend to be cheap, Nairobi residents
have to bear with various risks in return
As I got into a matatu, I couldn't help not having her catch my attention. She was like they are meant to be in Africa, tall, dark and striking beautiful. If you doubt me, you should have seen her smile, which is convincing enough , white and dazzling like the African ivory the East clamours. 

She looked familiar, and this was convinced by the I have seen you somewhere before  look that she gave me. This was soon confirmed as she proceeded to greet me and indulge me in talk. Teachers are so confident. We went to the same campus and she was a friend of a friend of mine, who apparently used to narrate to her stories about me. I didn't get to find out how bad the stories were. 

Our matatu soon left the bus station , and the driver bullied his way into Haile Selassie avenue. Our conversation was traded between rows, as I had instinctly taken a seat behind her, rather than next to her. This is Nairobi, there are other more important factors that determine where you seat in a matatu rather than a girls's beauty. The efforts of our bullying matatu driver soon became fruitless, as his matatu stalled along Haile Selassie street. 

We alighted and walked back to the bus station and boarded another matatu. This time was sat next to each other, at the back, her next to the window. We were soon back on Haile Selassie. 

I wonder whether the last Ethiopian Emperor will be happy or sad that the street is named after him. I was telling her to watch her hand bag, for the street is notorious for criminals who open matatu windows and snatch bags away. 

I told her of the day that i was seated next to my colleague, in the same matatus. The driver warned that we watch our bags, a thief was approaching. I remember turning, and watching the slim t-shirt clad hoodlum try to pry open the window behind us. You could see plain terror in the lady seated next to the window, as she clutched her shopping and hand bag for life. 

I have resorted to commuting with my bag between my feet in an effort
to beat the notorious bag snatchers. 
What happened next can only be narrated in a slow motion film, by Samuel L. Jackson.  The hoodlum shifted focus, hit open the window between us, grabbed my colleague's bag . He hugged the bag like a thing he had rescued, and dashed away along the road. They are always lucky enough not to get hit by other motorists. You will not believe me when I tell you that it is not possible to read this paragraph faster than the whole experience. 

I was rooted in shock, but my colleague appeared calm, just slightly inconvenienced. It could have been me, I could have lost my laptop. He had only lost his wallet, and about Ksh 1,400 in cash, and his only house key, and the bag, which however cost Ksh. 5,000. 

He may have been calm, but I knew it would him the next day. I have been there before (Read about it here http://blog.denniskioko.com/2011/05/no-hurry-in-africa.html). As Peter Ndung├║ taught me in his well presented Biology classes, adrenaline kicks in at such moments, to help you manage the crisis. Adrenaline will leave a cheetah wondering when humans evolved to outrunning them. Shock comes much later, when away from the danger. 

I was shocked. I knew they were after phones, and recently they  had expanded into ladies' handbags. I was unaware that bags were now targets, for they offer the reward of a more expensive laptop.

She clutched her hand bag and shut the window closing the small gap between it. We all knew that it was a futile effort, they always open the window. 

She told me about the notorious Juja Road. She was in a 14 seater matatu. It was in the beginning of the month, just when people get paid. A fellow commuter was seated in front of her. Her bag lay on her lap, her hands above her head,  in that posture that indicates the days worries have come to an end. All that awaits is sweet home, the place that has rivalled the goodies of  both the East and the West. 

Then her handbag was gone. He grabbed it through the window, but for all her fellow commuter cared, it might have been gone with the wind, for she immediately alighted the matatu and collapsed in shock. Her fellow commuters watched from a far, none offering to help. These things happen. 

I told her of the stories I have heard. They now board the matatu with you and alight along the way. Just as they are at the door, they grab your bag and run with it. I grab my bag the whole journey, or place it on the matatu's floor, between my seat. 

She told me more about them. One of them, a well dressed lady had approached her sister as she waited for a matatu at the bus stop. The lady was asking her sister of directions to some place, probably where they would take her when the chloroform in the handkerchief made her unconscious, and rob her. 

We were getting closer home , and so I asked for her phone number. Her phone wasn't going through. She found that weird, and started searching for it in her handbag. 

They had struck again. The man who had insisted seating next to her in the other matatu was more than just another old man. 

Her smile, like that of many others, was gone. 


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Nairobi's Top 4 Texas Brisket Places Reviewed and Ranked

What's the best place to have Brisket in Nairobi? What's even brisket?  Brisket is one of the toughest cuts in a cow, from around the belly. It is so tough that it has to be smoked for about 16 hours to tenderise. But that there, is the catch.  16 hours later, it is the most flavourful and softest cut you will ever have. So full of flavour and so soft you can pick it apart with your fingers.  However, due to the long cooking time involved, only a few places offer brisket in Nairobi.  The best so far is Texas Brisket which is located within Kikuyu Railway station.  They do the meat for a proper 16 hours, and will usually have a fatty or non-fatty portion. The fatty portions are more tasty. A 500 gram serving goes for KSh. 900 and a 1 KG order comes with a serving of free fries. Their brisket has a well smoked exterior coupled with a very juicy interior and is served on a bed of roast vegetables.  Texas Brisket is also the most affordable. If going there past noon on

A Kenyan in Addis Ababa (Part 2) - The "University Girls"

Addis Ababa's Light Rail system runs through the middle of a street. The electrified light rail is still under construction, though mostly done This post continues from Part 1.  The residents of Addis are friendly too. On my first day, I did meet a guard at a hotel, who later offered to show me around. Among the places he suggested, was this place where some “University girls” were holding some "dancing ceremony". He added, that Ethiopians being Orthodox Christians, were about to go on a sex, alcohol and meat fast, hence the importance of this “ceremony.” I had some suspicion that I was being sold to sex, but my guide insisted that this was not a sex sale. Just dancing University girls. We did end up in some nondescript compound, and into a house. There was sort of a sitting area, with a radio system, low benches and tables, and grass sprinkled around the floor. Grass sprinkled around the floor is an Ethiopian tradition that indicates you are welcome to a plac

Beers in Kenya: A sober opinion

Note: This is a dated post and has since been mostly passed by events. SAB Miller beers including Castle and Peroni are no longer widely available in Kenya after their exist. Sirville Brewery was bought out by Brew Bistro before being permanently shut in a tax dispute. Kenya is a land of milk, honey, beaches and taxes. I have penned, or is typed, a newer post here .  Peroni - One of the best beers in Kenya. Did a taste of canned and bottled Italian, and bottled Tanzanian I like the tangy flavour and body in Tanzanian Peroni. The can is close. Heineken drinkers will like the Italian one.  I have had a short beer swigging stint in my life. It has however been long enough for me to share my opinion of Kenyan beer. Interestingly, over the course of sharing such opinions with other drunkards connoisseurs,  I have found that we all have different views as to what beer is the best, which one makes you too drunk, or which one gives one free, extra hangover for every hangover you get

5 Kenyan Holiday Destinations in Turkana and Rift Valley

Much local holiday travel in Kenya involves going to the Coast. If not the Coast, most holidayers end up in Nanyuki or Naivasha. But what if you wanted to go somewhere else, what are the alternatives?  An interesting itinerary would be Lake Turkana, through the Kerio Valley and Kerio Escarpment. This is a trip doable both by public transport or as a self-drive. Given the distance, it takes at least 2 days by road - though it's manageable in one day if you have 2 drivers.  However, it would be more fun if you explored different destinations on your way up and back, which I'll highlight below.  1. Iten - Kerio Valley and Kerio Escarpment The Kerio Valley is a breathtaking valley within the Rift Valley, with the Elgeyo/ Kerio Escarpment forming one boundary of the Rift Valley and the Tugen Hills forming the other. The Tugen Hills are within the Rift Valley and one of the oldest features on the planet. The Kerio River flows in between falling over the esca

Counterfeit alcohol hits Nairobi

Counterfeit The Famous Grouse    bought at a shop along Nairobi's Dubois road, note the packaging. Dishonest dealers in Kenya are now repackaging various alcohols and selling them off to unsuspecting buyers. The scam appears to target a broad range of popular spirits, including Smirnoff Vodka and The Famous Grouse Whiskey. Various residents have reported that the drinks are sold in shops in down-town Nairobi and cheap clubs. Popular drinks are either substituted with similar looking forms of alcohol or blended with them. Vodka is substituted with chang'aa , a local moonshine drink while brandies are used to dilute, or wholly sold off as more expensive whiskies. There is suspicion that some of the alcohol used in this drinks is diluted industrial alcohol. Industrial alcohol is normally cleared, with tricks such as food colouring and perfume deployed to have the counterfeit alcohol look like the genuine one. The syndicate appears to be recycling bottles which are colle