Well, this blog may not have been updated and you may have been wondering where I went to.
See, from my last post, I have been very busy.
First I had to go convince my tribe why we should not vote for that guy from a "certain tribe". Even if that guy is better than the other one from the "other tribe" , their tribe is worse of than our tribe. See they occupy the same job that our tribe would have occupied, farm on the same fields that our tribe should farm on and eat the same food that our tribe should be eating.
That was an easy task given that most people from my tribe are lazier than those from the other tribe, and i had given them an easy tribe to solve their problems on. See, in Africa we solve problems using tribes, after all, they wouldnt be there if it wasnt for the other tribe.
My next task was now to instigate violence against the "other tribe". this task was even made easier by the "victory funds" from the big man. See, even the Bible says in Proverbs 19:4 that wealth maketh many friends; but the poor is separated from his nieghbour. You might even have seen people from my tribe uprooting the railway line on CNN. I managed to convince them that that metal path was a leading cause of Malaria and HIV/AIDS. Infact, cases of HIV/AIDS infections reduced that night due to a security crackdown, thus proving the railway line was infact a major cause of HIV/AIDS.People from my tribe became very angry when they saw our big man drinking tea and shaking hands with his enemy. "We fought for him, yet he goes and drinks tea with our enemy", they asked. What they didn't notice is that the cost of tea been drank was equivalent to what they earned in a week.
After the "Post election violence", i was busy fighting again for our tribe. We had to be represented in the 40 member cabinet of National Unity. From what I had heard, it was better to have 42 robbers from all communities in a grand robbery than have 24 robbers. 42 robbers would ensure that each community was fairly robbed.
Since then, rice prices at my nearby Supermarket doubled while oil prices now require calculators with more digits to calculate. This meant that we had to look for "the big man", but he couldn't be found.
Apparently, he had joined some other big people and they were now conducting a popularity poll on who was fit to speak before who. The media called it a protocol dispute or something. The poll was being conducted in several IDP camps.
I am typing this as i wait for the official results to be published.
I am back to my blog since I am a bitter man, after discovering that "my tribe" and "the big man" were very different things leading me nowhere.
I will be back, shortly
IDP- Intentionally Displaced Persons
See, from my last post, I have been very busy.
First I had to go convince my tribe why we should not vote for that guy from a "certain tribe". Even if that guy is better than the other one from the "other tribe" , their tribe is worse of than our tribe. See they occupy the same job that our tribe would have occupied, farm on the same fields that our tribe should farm on and eat the same food that our tribe should be eating.
That was an easy task given that most people from my tribe are lazier than those from the other tribe, and i had given them an easy tribe to solve their problems on. See, in Africa we solve problems using tribes, after all, they wouldnt be there if it wasnt for the other tribe.
My next task was now to instigate violence against the "other tribe". this task was even made easier by the "victory funds" from the big man. See, even the Bible says in Proverbs 19:4 that wealth maketh many friends; but the poor is separated from his nieghbour. You might even have seen people from my tribe uprooting the railway line on CNN. I managed to convince them that that metal path was a leading cause of Malaria and HIV/AIDS. Infact, cases of HIV/AIDS infections reduced that night due to a security crackdown, thus proving the railway line was infact a major cause of HIV/AIDS.People from my tribe became very angry when they saw our big man drinking tea and shaking hands with his enemy. "We fought for him, yet he goes and drinks tea with our enemy", they asked. What they didn't notice is that the cost of tea been drank was equivalent to what they earned in a week.
After the "Post election violence", i was busy fighting again for our tribe. We had to be represented in the 40 member cabinet of National Unity. From what I had heard, it was better to have 42 robbers from all communities in a grand robbery than have 24 robbers. 42 robbers would ensure that each community was fairly robbed.
Since then, rice prices at my nearby Supermarket doubled while oil prices now require calculators with more digits to calculate. This meant that we had to look for "the big man", but he couldn't be found.
Apparently, he had joined some other big people and they were now conducting a popularity poll on who was fit to speak before who. The media called it a protocol dispute or something. The poll was being conducted in several IDP camps.
I am typing this as i wait for the official results to be published.
I am back to my blog since I am a bitter man, after discovering that "my tribe" and "the big man" were very different things leading me nowhere.
I will be back, shortly
IDP- Intentionally Displaced Persons
Comments