Skip to main content

It simply does not add up

Somebody just pointed out to me a document's final copy -which I designed, wrote, printed and distributed- that had a mathematical error resulting in a total figure that was Ksh. 200 short of the components that add up to it. I told him to ignore it, since most of the readers would not notice it. After all, it is not the first nor the last thing in your life that does not add up. The issue of things not adding up starts from the mathematics class room, and goes on top include many other things in our life. It simply does not add up.


Mathematics used to be an easy subject for me, until a certain point in life where sums simply stopped adding up. I guess it is the same fore most of us. I guess things stopped adding up when the alphabet started creeping slowly into simple mathematics that had involved figures. That did not stop there, strange symbols, Greek alphabets and whole theories were soon added to the mix. It was no longer an operation of numbers, but functions like integration of letters, backed by some theories that were written in bizarre languages. My grandmother, is able to handle all calculations in her life without integrating anything; so I still do not understand why a certain professor insists that I need to differentiate and integrate an expressions consisting of characters beyond the scope of the keyboard that I am using. It also does not add up, top me, why mathematicians are obsessed with the letter 'x' instead of contending with the 10 digits they should operate under. Indeed, I see a situation where Massai alphabet that could soon join the Greek alphabet in this distinguished position. A certain master of mathematics told me that letters are used in mathematics to simplify things. Please- did you see me use numbers in this article to simplify anything.


That is not the only thing that does not add up, nor am I the only person with a set of things that do not follow simple mathematics logic. A visitor to this blog, Lily , says that it does not add how busy I am, given that I get time to write stuff like “25 things”. Lily, given the unemployment rate in this country, plus the people been subtracted from the payrolls daily,you will get a lot of time to write such things. Such time is also available when you are stuck in a road with more vehicles been added into the road, and a fewer number been subtracted from the same road, resulting in a traffic jam. By the way, Lily, the roads ministry, the Nairobi City Council, and other stakeholders are simply puzzled by an equation that would involve smooth flow of traffic within Nairobi city. To them, it simply does not add up. They think their gods must be crazy. Like those gods of the economists.


About the gods of the economists, if Nielsen were to measure their craziness the same way that they measure music album sales, these gods' craziness would have gone multiplatinum. Top foreign executives plus our distinguished ones have been left with ledgers that simply will not add up. Integrating, differentiating and use of bizzare expressions in this ledgers has refused to yield any miracles, since, as I just explained, the economic gods already went crazy. The only solution has been for the firms to file for bankruptcy. In some cases, foreign firms have had to add cash of governments that they can believe in into their operations, in what the governments that we can believe in call a bail out. Such expressions as bail outs are not used in sums of economies of developing countries, as the governments in this countries run economies that under normal circumstances result in negative totals if an attempt to sum them up is made.


In case the use of the term “foreign” in the above paragraph does not add up, it refers to people of a certain nationality who our prime minister has suggested should head the countries electoral body. This is due to the habit of votes cast not adding up when counted by a body headed by a Kenyan. Apparently, a Kenyan head usually integrates the voters in some areas and differentiates voters in other areas. The last time we had such a situation, we had to subtract many heads from our population and add many politicians to the government for things to add up. This has resulted in many Governmental sums not adding up.


For example, summing the number of litres that leave the Kenya Pipeline corporation does not add up to the litres of the same fuel it received. The National Cereals Boards might also require the help of mathematicians to find out why the number of maize bags that are received by millers do not add up to the ones it dispatched from its stores.


For the president, things have simply refused to add up. There is that one sum, involving calculating the size of his family, that has turned to be the proverbial pain in his backside. He has had to give several press conferences where he gives a mathematical breakdown of his family. Despite this, other Kenyans including members of the bar like one Paul Muite have claimed that the presidents Mathematical breakdown is flawed, and have gone ahead to try to sum up the members of his immediate family.


I am sure that there are many things in your life that do not add up. Take a moment and think of it. That is how complex mathematics is. What I do not know is if that still guarantees mathematicians to introduce alphabets and theories into simple sums. Hope it all adds up one day.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

RE: Appointment as Ambassador of the Republic of Kenya to The United States of America

Image: South African marriage courtesy The Telegraph ( http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/africaandindianocean/southafrica/6237922/South-African-man-marries-4-women-at-same-ceremony.html  ) Dennis Kioko, Address Pending. President to-be-elect, Republic of Kenya, Address Pending, Again. Dear Sirs/Madams, RE: Appointment as Ambassador of the Republic of Kenya to The United States of America  I would like to draw your attention to news reported across various sections of the press (way behind your daily portraits on the front page) that several Missions to the country are equivalently vacant with the duty of appointed high commissioners having expired. This includes Kenya's High Commission to the United States of America. Among your first duties, having assumed duty as Kenya's president, duly elected or otherwise, will be to appoint commissioners to these missions. It is in this regard that I highly invoke you to consider me as a likely appointment to the

A to Z of Girl Pick-up Lines

Girl,  You are like a breath of fresh air , like an outstanding piece of Art in an art gallery  There are many things you and me can be, but it puts a smile of satisfaction on my face and a smile of envy on my buddies faces that you both beautiful and bootyfull  E ither your creator must have taken the greatest care creating you or your cheated your way around heaven, 'coz you clearly the prettiest girl on earth  D on't ask why my breathing quickens every time I see you; setting my eyes on you makes me feel like I am drowning in your beauty, I have to catch my breath   Exciting, Exotic, Elegant, Electrifying ; so many definitions in english , but when it comes to the human race, girl, you are the one and only definition of all the above  W hen I say you are fly , it may be due to the sensation of flying off the ground that I get when I am around you. Some girls are beautiful, a few are decent, even fewer got class; I didn't know I could find all this qualities in one gir

Nairobi's Top 4 Texas Brisket Places Reviewed and Ranked

Brisket on a bed of roast vegetables with barbecue sauce at Texas Brisket, Kikuyu  This review has been updated after a number of you suggested I try the brisket at County2County.  What's the best place to have Brisket in Nairobi? What's even brisket?  Brisket is one of the toughest cuts in a cow, from around the belly. It is so tough that it has to be smoked for about 16 hours to tenderise. But that there, is the catch.  12 to 16 hours later, it is the most flavourful and softest cut you will ever have. So full of flavour and so soft you can pick it apart with your fingers.  However, due to the long cooking time involved, only a few places offer brisket in Nairobi.  The best so far is Texas Brisket which is located within Kikuyu Railway station.  They do the meat for a proper 16 hours, and will usually have a fatty or non-fatty portion. The fatty portions are more tasty. A 500 gram serving goes for KSh. 900 and a 1 KG order comes with a serving of free fries. Their brisket has

Beers in Kenya: A sober opinion

Note: This is a dated post and has since been mostly passed by events. SAB Miller beers including Castle and Peroni are no longer widely available in Kenya after their exist. Sirville Brewery was bought out by Brew Bistro before being permanently shut in a tax dispute. Kenya is a land of milk, honey, beaches and taxes. I have penned, or is typed, a newer post here .  Peroni - One of the best beers in Kenya. Did a taste of canned and bottled Italian, and bottled Tanzanian I like the tangy flavour and body in Tanzanian Peroni. The can is close. Heineken drinkers will like the Italian one.  I have had a short beer swigging stint in my life. It has however been long enough for me to share my opinion of Kenyan beer. Interestingly, over the course of sharing such opinions with other drunkards connoisseurs,  I have found that we all have different views as to what beer is the best, which one makes you too drunk, or which one gives one free, extra hangover for every hangover you get

A Kenyan in Addis Ababa (Part 2) - The "University Girls"

Addis Ababa's Light Rail system runs through the middle of a street. The electrified light rail is still under construction, though mostly done This post continues from Part 1.  The residents of Addis are friendly too. On my first day, I did meet a guard at a hotel, who later offered to show me around. Among the places he suggested, was this place where some “University girls” were holding some "dancing ceremony". He added, that Ethiopians being Orthodox Christians, were about to go on a sex, alcohol and meat fast, hence the importance of this “ceremony.” I had some suspicion that I was being sold to sex, but my guide insisted that this was not a sex sale. Just dancing University girls. We did end up in some nondescript compound, and into a house. There was sort of a sitting area, with a radio system, low benches and tables, and grass sprinkled around the floor. Grass sprinkled around the floor is an Ethiopian tradition that indicates you are welcome to a plac