Proof that Higher Education does not help

The other day I was innocently looking out of class, as the lecturer pretended to be lecturing. I mean, I cannot help but stare at the beautiful by passers, the only other option I usually have are:-
a) Try to listen and follow the lecture until I get a level 1 headache, which then advances to a splitting headache, known as a level 2 headache.
b) I can walk away, walk away(singing that walk away song in my head)
c) I can doze off in class, but the furniture isn’t quite for this purpose, like those metallic benches that have been put everywhere in the city centre, which by the way, I heard are part of the Millennium Development Goals.
Back to my story, as I was in class, the lecture happened to ask an obvious question, which no one answered. Seem no one answered his question, he asked if we didn’t know the answer. Discovering that we knew the answer, but we weren’t interested in answering, the lecturer then asked why we were in class.
The lecturer said that he thought that we were in class to learn. But some people in the class vehemently denied that. They instead said that they had been called by the Joint Admissions Board, on a Government Scholarship, since they had passed in Secondary School. See, JAB calls you to do a course they select .They said that those who joined public universities to learn, are the Parallel Module students, since they paid to come do specific courses , hence they were focused.
I thought that made sense. This made me to start to think about the benefits of what is called higher education(the lecturer was still lecturing in the background of my head). This was spurred by the stupid things that I see undergraduates doing, and the even more stupid ones that graduates doing. Kanye West in Goodmorning says that people already graduated but they still stupid. Mind you, this stupidity is different from kidishness, it is in a class of its own.
To get a few pointers to this stupidity we do not even have to go far, starting from my block, we have people fighting hard for stupidity of the year:

• There is the guy who has his meal of ugali and sukuma, and he must love it because he has it daily. We are fine with that, but must he pour solid remains in the sinks, drains and bathtub? again, must he do it on a daily basis. Maybe he loves the sight of sukuma floating on a blocked sink, or he plain stupid.

• Must the guys who live next door, clean their room and deposit the dirt on the corridor just outside their(and our) door.this is also repeated elsewhere in our beloved country(of machetes and head slayers) where you will find garbage dumps just outside peoples doors and compounds. the reasoning out is that as long as the house is clean in the inside, someone(more stupid than me) will take care of the outside.

• When we are traveling(mostly "upcountry") we throw away rubbish outside the window of the car. No one stops to think of the very observant driver who may be trailing behind, and a packet of unfinished milk will end up splashed on their windscreen.

• We spend all our mornings(especially for the ladies) phoning in radio stations to discuss and comment on our sex lives, and stuff such as how vegetables make things slippery(seriously maina kageni?)

• We will always go and vote in someone, according to our tribe, so that we can eat. Sadly, we are all waiting for the day we can eat, despite having our tribesmen in the government. what is even more surprising, is that we are always in the opposition, which leaves me wondering who voted in the government.

I could go on for hours, but thinking like a stupid person is prooving to be quite hard, and boring for you.

The BATHTUB

When I first moved in to my campus hostels a few years ago, as a more cleverer individual than I am now(my grades drop every year), I was very impressed. It’s not the girls who impressed me, or the large multiple of roommates I had (and the fact that some of them talked about everything in terms of cash, like soda bottles), or the fact that I had been allocated a room near the administration block.
I remember the day well; it was that day of registration. I had spent the whole day squeezed between two huge guys in the queue. It’s not a good day, when some parts of a dudes anatomy are hovering about some parts of your anatomy in the queue. Furthermore, since I was traveling from upcountry(my editor suggested that I use that word, even if I had been traveling uphill for most of the journey) I had bought a lot of drinks , which I had imbibed. I was pressed by the time I was been allocated a room, and first place I headed to was the washrooms.
That was when it struck my eyes, for a moment I was dazzled. I even forgot I was pressed, and stood looking at it. All the good times we would have together flashed in front of my mind.
I could not think of anything else that day. Even sleeping was a problem. I was looking forward to the next day, when I would finally get the chance I was looking forward to, a chance of my life.
Then I woke up, in the middle of the night, or so I think, and went for another pee. As I passed by the desire of my dreams, I found a drunk dude , vomiting all over the object of my dreams. My heart felt like it had been stabbed in a thousand places. I did not even go back to sleep, I just couldn’t.
In the morning, it was even worse, I found another dude washing his muddy shoes(I think I saw even much more than mud, and there was that faint, but distinguishable stench from them) in there. Just as he left, a stupid idiot passed by , and deposited the remains of his last meal there.
I had to go use the showers, to wash away my dreams. How could I use the BATHTUB, seeing how it much it was a rubbish dump to others. Since then, the BATHTUB has seen a lot more than just this, and I understand that in Kenya, maybe that is what they are made for.

Improving my Facebook Experience

I am a very ardent time waster. I also happen to be very lazy and kiddish. My laziness is proven by the fact that my waking up time is the same as that you are required at your job, for those who work. My kiddishness is proved by the fact that I actually loved, yeah loved, that Disney kids movie called "Enchanted".

Recently, I decided that I got a lot of time in my hands, and decided to shop for an adult toy.Before many of you get the wrong ideas, my search did not even take me off my seat. A few e-mails and mouse clicks later, I was a registered facebook member. I really have not seen such a good time wasting tool for millions of people world wide than facebook.

Facebook is a really great time waster.In fact, here are some reasons why facebook is a great time waster:
• I get to play games such as vampires and werewolves with people that I last saw in class 3, and who I did not even use to play with them back then.
• I get a chance to tell strangers and my friends of my proud accomplishments such as how I much I drank over the weekend, that I can not remember. whether I lost my virginity or not. I even tell them of how I have vukad to A Wonderful World permanently, while I have even no idea where my Zain sim card is.
• I get a chance to upload photos of the weekend (above) that i really got drunk showing me peeing in the middle of a well lit road.
• I also get a platform to tell the world of my new found love, and how complex we love each other that we end in a complex relationship, so complex like those formulas for simple sulphuric acid reacting with an Organic compound.
• Normally, I feel that the messages that I send my complex lover are not enough for it(Doesn't this replace having to us him/her?) to read in private. Therefore, I send him messages via the status updates, so that he feels where my status stands on our complex love.
• I get to make many English speaking friends, and then learn a foreign language(Spanish, French or German would do) and then update my status in this foreign languages. Since that already have enough time to waste on facebook, they also have enough time to use online translators to translate them.
• By the way I am a very good fan of Britney Spears, a football team called Lokomotiv Moscow and a vehicle known as the Mahindra. Therefore, I usually use photos of miss Britney, the Lokomotiv Moscow goal keeper or the Mahindra as my profile picture. I then invite people that barely know me or strangers to be my friends. Of course my status picture will be very helpful in helping them identify me. Don' you think so?



I can go on and on about how Improve my Facebook |Experience and that of my friends, but Supper time has cometh. Check my status to know what I am having for supper...